The uncle who came to tea: 14th-20th July

posted Jul 24, 2012, 1:12 PM by Dinner Lady   [ updated Jul 25, 2012, 1:19 AM ]
Once there were two little boys called Maths Geek and The Noble Knight and a little girl called Princess Baby and they were having tea with their mummy and daddy in the kitchen. Suddenly there was a ring at the door. Their mummy said "I wonder who that can be. It can't be the organic vegetable box delivery, because that came a few days ago. It can't be Nanny Poppins because she has a key. It can't be Mrs Doubtfire, because it is a Sunday and he is at home. We'd better open the door and see."  They opened the door, and there, was a tall, smiley and very excited Uncle Dada, sitting on his suitcase, all the way from New York.  Uncle Dada said, "Excuse me, but I'm very hungry and rather jet lagged. Do you think I could come and stay with you?" And everyone said "Of course, come in".  Not long after, the grandparents arrived at the doorstep, a surprise for Uncle Dada.  

And together, they ate all the tasty nibbles of crisps and taramasalata and hummus that Mummy and the boys had bought as a special treat.  They ate all the roasted lamb with onion sauce that Mummy had cooked, knowing that Uncle Dada misses the traditional Sunday roast when in the USA.  They ate all the take away Indian Curry that Dadu, the grandfather, bought as a family treat.  They ate all the birthday cake that was baked for Princess Baby's first birthday, swallowing each slice in one large gulp.   They drank all the champagne that was left chilling in the fridge and emptied Mrs Doubtfire's newly stocked wine rack.  And when they had all had just about as much fun as it is possible to have, and eaten about as many naughty meals as is wise to consume, Uncle Dada said "Thank you very much for having me to stay. I think I better go back to my family in America".  And everyone was very sad because they loved their Uncle Dada so much. But they knew they would have another family reunion another time and they hoped that the next time they saw him he would be with his wife and children and that Dinner Lady's sister would also be there to join in the fun.  
When an Uncle comes to tea, one needs to buy more than a very big tin of Uncle food. Diets, budgets, ethical living and the humdrum of ordinary life need to be thrown out of the window.  This attitude was beautifully encapsulated by my mother's innocent comment, made as we all sat around the kitchen table about to tuck into a row of far too many overflowing Indian take away cartons: "I have read somewhere that the best thing one can do to be healthy is to eat very small amounts"!


Don't know and don't care. Too busy spending time with precious relatives to be worrying about collecting receipts.  

Waste not want not

Far too much, have been very lax. The worst waste was when Mrs Doubtfire was holding Princess Baby and reaching for the chilled champagne, which dislodged an open tupperware of rice and scattered it over the floor. I was tempted to salvage it and make a soup out of it, but thought that might be taking it a little too far.